Day 1 -- Delhi

On my first foray out of our room, I learned that not everyone speaks English and even if they do, the cultural divide means it can still be hard to communicate. We ended up with a delicious omelet for breakfast and the proprietor stopped by to help us plan our day. He hired a driver (who barely spoke English) and told him where to take us for the day. We had made no plans for the day so this was an added bonus to our B&B experience.


Soon we were off! Everywhere you looked a picture could be taken. Saris, rickshaws, food vendors, crammed buses and historical buildings whizzed by outside. When you weren't taking a photo, you could be videoing the insane driving habits of India. Motorcycles are very popular and the drivers are constantly seeking to sneak between two already impossibly close vehicles. Generally this is done with a woman in a sari perched side saddle style or a child tucked in between their legs. Four is the maximum I remember seeing, but wouldn't be too shocked if I ever saw more.

Keep Distance

We first visited Humayan's Tomb and discovered that the people willing to take you around for some rupees can be useful. Of course they don't spell that out when they start showing your around, but I wouldn't have had a clue what I was looking at or where to go otherwise and we knew what we were getting into. It was interesting and photo worthy, but forgettable.

Now, meeting this women was NOT forgettable. I was actually impressed I had the guts to ask her for a photo. She shyly looked at her husband to see if it was okay. Generally, this much henna is done for a bride so perhaps I ran into her just a few days after her life changing event.


Our next stop was a bicycle rickshaw ride through Chondi Chowk. Jonathan and I rode one and Jason and our driver were in the other. We got caught in a monsoon downpour, but I think that made the visit even more memorable. As the streets became narrower and more maze like, I gave up the camera and we just took video. You could take 12 photos for every step you took through the bazaar.




During the hardest downpour, we took a break and visited a Sikh temple. Those are the men you see with turbans on their heads that often get mistaken for Muslim. It was a tripped out building, lots of gold and strange moving electronic lights. Understandably, we couldn't take photos there or in the Hindu temples. I'm not sure they could illustrate the experience anyway. I believe they recite prayers or chants to meditate and become closer to God, but it was such a visible and audible assault that it was not a religion that spoke to me on any level. I agree with Sikhism more than many religions (not the strange cultural aspects, but just the theology.) Still an amazing experience!

We shopped at a spice shop and the drivers continued to take us to a couple of other shops, but I'm not really interested in too much shopping. I've bought plenty of souvenirs that are now stuffed in boxes in my attic. We bought spices mainly for the experience, but who knows, I might break out with a fabulous curry one day.




That ride ended up being Jonathan's favorite part of the entire trip. We tried to do it again on Thursday, but sadly they had closed the area down to prepare for the Independence Day celebrations, which take place at the Red Fort. I think we made one last stop that day at the India Gate. We bought some handmade toys from vendors and it was nice to see they tagged around after the locals just as much as us.

After that last stop, it was back through the crazy traffic, wandering cows and saris galore to Defense Colony where we had our driver drop us off at a restaurant. "Don't worry!", we said when he was concerned about us making back to the house. Well, he should have. We did wander there eventually. I'm sure we needed the walk to keep us awake for the remainder of the evening, but there were a lot of mixed emotions as we trudged by a surprising amount of trash.

India?

I may actually make time to write up some of our Indian experiences. I'll post them on their proper dates back in August!

You'll have to excuse their imperfections -- if I try to get all my words and punctuation correct then the task will be lost in a quagmire.

First Day of High School

Can you imagine? Ziyi was nervous AND Jason and I were nervous! In China, she gets to school at 7:30 am, goes home for lunch and then comes back to school until 10 pm. The 50 kids in her class stay in the same room and same seat all day long. Switching classes in a school with 2,000 kids is like finding your way out of an Amazon rainforest. She also has to contend with a locker and lock for the first time in her life and those things never work when your nervous. They break classes into A and B days so she has four classes a day. Today will be German, Algebra, Astronomy and Anatomy.

The excitement continued after school. She didn't know how to get home from the school bus so I told her I would meet her there. The website said it arrived at 4:45, but at 4:30 I saw it cruising down the street! The stop is WAY down from our house so I ran pell-mell to catch it. It had already dropped off about 8 kids when I got there. None of them were Ziyi. Chaos ensued, but I eventually got a call that Ziyi didn't even make it on the bus -- whoops! I jumped in the car and found her with her new friend who immigrated from China three years ago. She was out there introducing Ziyi to the other Chinese people she knew who walked by. She already got this girl's info and was invited to the Chinese club that meets tomorrow! I guess it would be good to find friends outside this safe group, but I'm just happy she made a connection with somebody on her first day of school.

As for the classes, they stunk. Algebra was too easy, astronomy was just awful and the worst of all was Anatomy. She said she felt like an alien and just sat there not understanding anything the teacher said for an hour and a half. She is not on the science and maths track in high school so it is ridiculous for her to take those classes this year. I wish I would have stood up for her more, but as far as I could tell the counselor who was setting up her classes assumed all Chinese exchange students were interested in those two subjects. Tomorrow is the last day to change classes so we will be there bright and early to make some changes!

Ziyi (zoo-yee) is here!

From Monday to Thursday I ran around like a mad woman trying to get ready for Ziyi! I had to unpack and clean up from India, finish unpacking Jonathan from camp and get Lindsay moved out of her room and into what is now called The Girl's Room. It was chaotic!

We grabbed Jason from work and we got to the Austin airport with plenty of time to spare before her flight arrived.

Here she comes!

She got right down with Lyvia to check out the sign she holding. People who instinctively get down on a child's level just warm my heart. I took it as a good sign!
I was hoping she would be a calming influence on the family -- ha! The kids went BONKERS trying to show off. Lindsay could not control her talking and was just carrying on and on about pretty much anything that entered her mind and didn't really even take a breath and just keep going and going even though I pleaded that she please please stop. Really. Stop.

We got home and showed her around the house. She gasped and said how beautiful her room was when we opened the door. I'm so glad she liked it! For dinner, I had taco soup. The pressure of feeding a child whose home food is drastically different than anything in America that I am capable of preparing is a bit numbing. I know she just has to go with the flow, but who likes to feed people something they will hate? Right away she jumped in and helped get the bowls of food ready. It was obvious someones parents had given them an earful about helping out around the house.

After dinner Dylan desperately wanted Ziyi to watch him jump on the trampoline. As she headed out the back door, she said for me to call her if I needed help cleaning up. I'm in love. Dylan continued to accost her with requests to watch him blow bubbles about 1,000 times and she kindly obliged. When it was time for her to unpack, the kids lined up chairs in her doorway and watched. What a hoot. She is taking it all in stride so maybe we won't scare her off too quickly.

First Day of School

Jon was ready about 2 hours before school started, but I could barely get him to slow down for a picture on his way out to catch the bus. This is his last year of elementary school! Boo Hoo! Already they are out in portables so I'll never see him when I am up there working. What a reminder to enjoy each day since this picture of him on his first day of Kindergarten seems like yesterday.



Lindsay and Dylan get ready much slower and later so we get to enjoy them in the morning and the sun is actually up by they time they head to school!

This is Mr. Dylan's FIRST day of Kindergarten. While I am ready for Dylan to face the challenges of Kindergarten, he seems entirely too young to send off into the elementary world! Did I really send two other kids off at this age?
At least Kindergarten is that fabulous year when you can volunteer just about every week and spend time with some incredibly cute kids. I feel fortunate that I get to do it two more times!

Day 1 early am -- Delhi

We arrived in Delhi at 3:30 am. I was a bit worried about the airport "experience" since Indira Gandhi International Airport was once considered one of the worst on the planet. It turns out that they now hire companies to run the airports and they do it quite well. We easily found our driver and he got us to our bed & breakfast quickly. On the way, we saw autorickshaws and people sleeping in strange places (like the median.)

Our bed and breakfast was located in Defense Colony, a "coveted" living area in Delhi. I'd been told the area was quite exclusive. Let's just say a paradigm shift took place during our first drive through. I forget Americans see the world through sterilized suburban glasses. We arrived at our "home", walked past the man sleeping on a cot outside and collapsed in our room until about 7 am. The string of men I saw sleeping outside in chairs and on cots lingered in my mind.



For good or bad, the neighborhood pictures don't truly capture the area. I think it is more important that the first shock I feel quickly wears off and my skin is comfortable in a less then sterile suburban surrounding.

India Bound

We picked Jonathan up at camp Saturday morning, listened to his wonderful tales on the drive home and then started washing and repacking for India! I'd really put off packing. Eventually I just run out of time and am forced to toss some items together and hope for the best.

Lucy got the little kids on Saturday and they happily left as they blew kisses all the way down our street. I think she was correct when she said it was easier to leave somebody than to be left. We headed to the airport on Sunday a little late and noticed when we came out of our frantic Barnes and Noble stop that we had a deflating tire! We scrambled back home again, switched cars and then dashed to the airport -- pretty typical Wallis travel.

We had a really good flight out and Jonathan slept in my lap for 7 hours (I'll save you from MY plane pains.) I had us fly through Dubai to Delhi since it seemed like an interesting place I may never visit on my own accord. Sadly it was dark outside, but the airport was interesting enough to make the route perfect. I loved seeing the men walking around in their flowing white Saudi Arabian outfits with their red and white checked scarves fluttering around them. Also interesting, but not as appealing, were the women dressed in all black. Many with their faces completely covered. It is spooky to see a woman be obliterated by a black cloth. I couldn't help but count my blessings.

We also saw a mosque area (of course separated for men and women) that was advertised as much as the restrooms on the airport signage. During our time there, we enjoyed the bookstore where sadly I forgot to write down the name of some Arab cartoon that came with a line of stuffed dolls including a creepy mean woman with a wart. Most everything else was something we could easily buy in America, but they did have these fabulous mugs in the gift store.

We also heard a call to prayer while we were there, drank a Pepsi that had tab and Arabic writing on the side and found a Dairy Queen for Jonathan to get some chicken and ice cream to eat. The Indian restaurant next to it was much more popular.

Letter from camp

Jonathan and I had the best time making notecards for him to use when writing notes to family while he was a camp. He was SOOO excited about those cards. Lindsay managed to get two notes mailed from her one week camp so I thought Jon would certainly be able to send four letters to various people while at camp for two weeks. So I waited...and waited. By day 12 I gave up, but just before we hop in the car to start the journey to get Jonathan, I check the mail and find the letter...torn into a puzzle.

It starts, "I am writing to you because I want a slurpee." Obviously, I must have promised him a slurpee if he wrote me. I'm brilliant.

Jonathan at Camp

Part of our tour of Texas included dropping Jonathan off at a two week camp on the Rio Frio. It was a blast! At his camp you drive through the river, which is all kinds of cool. The crazy staff run around greeting campers with chest bumps and a rear kicking (I promise, it is fun.)

Siblings can gorge themselves on cotton candy and snowcones, get their faces painted and decorate cookies. They also had burgers and grilled shrimp to eat.

First we set him up in his cabin (while Lindsay and Hailey hit the food stands.) Somehow the kids spend two weeks in their bunks with their trunks. They really can live with very little space (I tell myself.) Jon immediately pulled out every towel I sent for him to use over the next two weeks and made a fort.


Did I mention VERY little space?

I've watched the videos and if he doesn't think this is the best two weeks of his life, then I wouldn't know what to say. Of course he can't be bothered to send a letter to anyone so we have not heard from the horse's mouth how things are going, but there are some pictures online of him having fun.

http://hebutt.smugmug.com/gallery/9129012_U43bd#608598489_MWRLQ

http://hebutt.smugmug.com/gallery/9118724_RiSbC#607865060_EvHrc

I mainly spend my days hitting refresh on the picture gallery (they add pictures every day) and then cross my fingers that he is in some of them. Hopefully I'm missing him a ton more than he is missing us since I am SO ready to go get him on Saturday!

Back in the Fold

What a whirl wind weekend we had! On Friday I dropped the Littles off in Lampasas with Gi and drove three hours to pick up Lindsay in Conroe. Saturday, we took her BFF Hailey with us to San Antonio and then on to Laity Lodge to drop Jonathan off at camp on Sunday. We then got the Littles in Burnet and finally made it home.

As for camp, Lindsay did love it! Thankfully, she and Hailey were still connected at the hip when we picked them up and I couldn't bear to part them (she lives 3 hours away from us) so we will have another week with Hailey before the start of school.

Jonathan played the cool dude about not having his sister around, but they were like two happy puppies when they saw each other. I couldn't even get him to leave her alone long enough for a post camp picture, but that was just fine because I love this picture more.

Lindsay Camp Memories

Sleeping in the treehouse with no counselor and a thunderstorm coming through one night.

No hands dinner

Canoe swamping

The Bazooka Bubblegum song (look it up on YouTube once and it will be stuck in your head forever) and other camp songs.

Stop and Go dinner

New friend Gabriela

Sleeping in the top bunk

Getting lots of mail from family and friends

I think the self confidence, independence and problem solving skills learned at camp are priceless and the good ol' fashioned fun probably even wins over the most electronically attached kids.

Of course, I've already got next year's camp picked out for her!

Lindsay at Camp

Bunk Sweet Bunk

Lindsay's first year of overnight camp...I'm only slightly freaking out. I would just LOVE to know what has gone on in her mind during her first resident camp. I enjoyed the drop-off and build-up to one last hug before we just walked away from the campers.

I'm not sure if the girls or moms were more excited about them getting to sleep in the treehouses!

I worked my tail off getting Lindsay ready for camp and don't you know, I didn't think to try on her tennis shoes before packing. Flip flops have been the shoe of choice since school let out. Fortunately we discovered they didn't fit before we even made it out of the car (three hours from home) and I happened to have an extra set of watershoes she could wear during the week.

We got to go to their cabin and help them set up their bunk and gear. I think we lasted a full 10 minutes before we were sweated out. It was so muggy and not a bit of wind was moving. How shocking to think that some kids go to camp in states without unbearable heat -- what lightweights.

Now I've got my fingers crossed that I'll actually get a letter from her. I certainly won't hold my breath since I'm pretty sure I would just pass out.

Lyvia's First Bike

Lyvia is finally wheeling around town like everyone else in the family! Nothing pleases her more than being big like her siblings.

Dylan and Lyvia set up a little backyard reading camp one afternoon -- they had a tent, sleeping bags and books. Knowing the two of them, I'm sure food was involved at some point.

Dylan likes "all the colors of the rainbow...even orange." This is a continuation of a conversation we had in Colorado over Christmas. Dylan said he didn't like orange. Lindsay said she did. It seems Dylan has been grappling with this ever since because he really wants to like the same things big sister Lindsay does.

It had been three months since that December conversation. I was tired of the typical Star Wars, Transformers, "I'm shooting that car" talk I get when we are driving around. I started asking Dylan random questions to get him off those interminable subjects.

When I asked him what his favorite color was he said, "all the colors of the rainbow...even orange." However, he may be growing into his own person a little more because after a pause he said, "No. I really don't like orange."

Preschool

We are rocking on in preschool land! I've got kids going every day but Monday. I went ahead and started Lyvia at a second preschool so she can start learning Mandarin. I thought that if I started her in January, she would be talking by next August. She had been mighty slow to warm up to her current preschool teachers.

Turns out, she LOVES this preschool and listening to her sing in Chinese makes all the running around worth the trouble. She is only attending the Chinese portion this year, but when school starts back up in August, she will be here "full-time", which is only four hours a day four days a week.

Dylan is doing pretty well in preschool, but I've been attending that preschool for what feels like forever and it is losing a bit of its luster. Please tell me why they have the kids watch television for recess when it is raining outside??? Couldn't they at least play with the toys in the classroom? So strange. They don't even watch educational television. Drives me batty. Batty!

Back to Lyvia's school -- once a month they make and eat dumplings and practice using chopsticks. They also take turns standing at the front of the room. When it is her turn, she has to say 我Lyvia 。我3岁。 Wo jiao Lyvia. Wen san sui. My name is Lyvia. I am three years old.

She belts this out like little commanding officer. Crazy cute.

Then the child sings a song in Chinese. She has quite the repertoire already. The teacher even teaches them to recognize the characters that go with each word.

I'm not sure this teacher has acclimated to the US very much. Just last week she drove to Houston (three hours away) for rice. We have a HUGE Asian market and it seems their rice is completely unacceptable. She is from Northern China so she buys rice from North Korea so it is sticky enough. Those southerners make rice that separates. Stomach turning, isn't it? Of course I get a HUGE kick out of this and actually love it when she shares this with me.

I'm not such a fan of her telling me that my child is too dark and that if she saw her in the city in China, she would know she was a villager. Egads! Again, love to hear the cultural differences, but this hit a little close to home. Sadly, I did defend myself by saying, "She came to us like that!" She replied that she thought we were leaving her in the sun too long. I know Asians admire light skin, but I really think she was just born with darker skin. The bottom line is that I want my girls to know they are beautiful just the way they are and that most beauty shines from the inside out.

I'll continue to shuttle kids from home to preschool and back again -- I love my alone time although it is never enough. Even though they say they never want to leave me, both seem to be flourishing while I am gone!

Lyvia is three!

THREE

TWO

ONE

First View of Lyvi

Nativity

This was Dylan's first time to participate in the church nativity play.

He was adamant that he be an angel.

His best bud was a sheep, but he still wanted to be an angel.

I have NO clue why.

This was all the funnier for me because last year I had to deal with a Jonathan freak out about being an angel. The pastor finally got through to him when he pointed out that all the angels in the bible were men.

Did I say NO idea why Dylan wanted to be an angel?

Well, maybe there was one seven year old reason.

Photos with Four

I think Christmas at Granny's is always a good time to try and take a picture with all four kids. Unfortunately, they didn't agree.

First, no one would sit up properly on the chair, but at least three attempted to smile.

Lindsay was a stinker so...

she got booted out and I tried again.

By this time Jon attempted to comply, but wouldn't actually smile so...

I tried one last time, but Lyvi was getting goofy
and Dylan was eyeing a toy he'd rather play with.


You would think these were pictures I should delete, but I think I'll keep them.

Colorado Ski and Snow

How lucky are we to have a place to visit in Breck whenever the mood strikes? VERY! We meandered up to Colorado as soon as we could get the car packed after Christmas. Actually Jason and I don't meander on road trips -- we get from point A to point B as quickly as possible since his foot is made of lead and I don't allow lollygagging at pit stops. This trip we did make two sit down and eat pit stops...this is completely out of character. The first was a hole-in-the-wall Thai restaurant in Amarillo. The kids loved their food and I think ours was okay, but the coolest thing was the mutant fish they had in their fish tanks.

The second stop was the next day at a bar/restaurant in Woodland Park. There is something just fabulous about devouring a hearty breakfast for lunch when you are hungry. Jason and I are determined to figure out how to replicate the huge plate sized pancakes. I also loved this run down restaurant since they had a fire in the middle of the room and none of the tables matched. Don't you know life is more fun when you get excited about the little things?

In Colorado, Lyvia LOVED sledding...with a passion. When she got tired of going down the hill, she would push her imaginery baby instead. Stuffed in ski clothes and snow boots she still had to walk down, pick up the sled and then drag it back to the starting point so I'm not sure how THAT was fun, but what do I know. At some point she told me her baby was from China. Guess she has officially picked up on us telling her that major fact of her life.

Dylan liked finding huge snowchunks and dropping them on his dad. Sledding was also big fun for him (how I love that he and Lyvi have each other to play with!) He kept insisting that he wanted to show me how he could ski and snowboard. I'm sure it was tough as Dylan was certainly left out when we rented of all the cool ski gear. He seemed pleased with his time at the Breck child care center so I don't think he really missed out on too much. He talks big, but learning to ski is tough and I'm hoping that next year he will really want it now that he got left behind this year. "I will try" is a mantra I am trying to convince him to adopt, but it is an uphill battle.

Jon choose to have a second day of snowboarding lessons instead of hanging with his parents and sister. He had some move he was trying to conquer. At least that is what he told us... He also found his fort after trekking off into some seriously deep snow around the cabin. Big plans were made for installing a zip line this summer.

Lindsay conquered the mountain and skied two days. By the second day we had her going down the blue slopes. She has one intense wedge, but she stills zooms down the mountain. I had a hard time keeping up with Ms. Zippy. I'm always trying to find reasons to let them grow up and skiing as a family will certainly be a fun one!

if you are wasting time on the computer you can scroll down and see Halloween -- I found a post I forgot to published...

Merry Christmas!

Some children see Him lily white, the baby Jesus born this night.

Some children see Him lily white, with tresses soft and fair.

Some children see Him bronzed and brown, the Lord of heav'n to earth come down.

Some children see Him bronzed and brown, with dark and heavy hair.

Some children see Him almond-eyed, this Savior whom we kneel beside.

Some children see Him almond-eyed, with skin of yellow hue.

Some children see Him dark as they, sweet Mary's Son to whom we pray.

Some children see him dark as they, and, ah! they love Him, too!

The children in each different place will see the baby Jesus' face like theirs, but bright with heavenly grace, and filled with holy light. O lay aside each earthly thing and with thy heart as offering,come worship now the infant King.'Tis love that's born tonight!

--” Some Children See Him“ from ”The Alfred Burt Carols’’

Thanks, Sharlande for sharing the poem!

Munch Munch

Tonight I get to go hear Jane Brown speak in Austin. I'm sure I will have lots to think about and chew on afterwards. Here is an article she wrote in case you are interested.

Racial Identity Development by Jane Brown

As generally Caucasian parents of Chinese children, we are raising children of a different race. While we rarely have to deal with racism or racial prejudice, our children will have to. Part of dealing with this is having a positive sense of racial identity. PLEASE go and educate yourself about racial identity development (and more specifically, on racial development in transracially adopted youngsters) and PLEASE educate yourself about racism. The word racism, by the way, is NOT interchangeable with the term race prejudice. I went to a PACT's conference on transracial adoption and learned a lot about both racial identity development and development in transracial families.

Providing adult role models of color, placing your children in multiracial/multicultural environments, giving our children access to adult transracially adopted people, and helping our children develop cultural competency as opposed to sampling their culture-of-origin as one would sample a foreign culture as a tourist (or within the segregated confines of an adoptive family support group) is CRITICAL.

One African American speaker said this best: African Americans, Asian Americans, and other people of color are forced to learn how to function effectively in a predominantly white society because our entire society in the United States-- no matter where we go-- is predominantly Euro- Caucasian/white. However, what people of color normally get to have when they go home and when they are doing something within their ethnic community is a BREAK. It is the pause that refreshes. They don't have to worry about who is staring at them, who is wondering whether they belong or not, whether someone is making assumptions about them that are based on race/ethnicity, whether someone is worried that they are going to steal something, or that someone is going to make overtures to them in order to make sure they know they aren't prejudiced-- a form of overcompensating because they DO see and judge people based on the color of their skin.

Others made some observations that I think are important to think about, too. Often, Caucasian parents of transracially adopted youngsters, we choose environments to live in or schools based on what we think are places that offer the "best" opportunities. Yet we make these judgements about what IS best based on Euro-Caucasian standards. That this is sometimes a class issue as much or more than it is a racial one. They pointed out the many wonderful and often overlooked resources and benefits that are sometimes passed over by Euro-Caucasian people that are NOT passed over by parents of color raising children of color. That not everyone values the same things.

In the post I partially reprinted above, I see evidence of a lack of understanding racism and its effects on racial identity development. Whether or not someone is "accepted" and to what degree-- is not even close to being all that helps someone define who they are and how they fit into the broader picture of a very racialized society. That is a very Euro-centric view of persons of color that is problematic in raising children of color.

I think that we MUST understand-- that our children NEED to be with other people of color-- not just a few, isolated children in a school, but regularly in their classrooms, at the park, in their neighborhoods, etc... They also need adult role models of color. It is different and much more beneficial to have teachers and administrators of color than to see adults of color only in menial positions or in very rare instances. It also makes a difference in the curriculum, the way race-teasing is handled, whether or not an anti-racist attitude prevails. When our kids not in these types of settings, White Privilege prevails and is not even recognized! There is absolutely no understanding of how this feels or what this means to a person of color growing up or living there-- by the Euro-Caucasians who surround him or her.

This affects our child much more profoundly than it does the child of color growing up with parents of color, siblings of color, and extended family of color, etc.... These children do not get the "break" the conference speaker spoke of. They do not have adult role models. They have difficulty even KNOWING for sure that they ARE a person of color-- for there is a tendency for them to identify as "white"-- which they are NOT! They don't spend a great deal of time looking at the self in the mirror-- they look at people who are up close and personal and play a MEANINGFUL role in their lives.

Putting a child of color into a classroom of almost-all or all-Caucasian children is like putting a girl into an otherwise all-boy school. The children can and do learn how to effectively navigate in a White-dominated society because Euro-Caucasians are the dominants in our society, BUT their self-esteem suffers and they often have a great deal of difficulty building an accurate or positive racial identity. This is a critical component of identity-- and I think we need to think carefully about this.

I work with adopted children all over the U.S. and Canada-- I have a program called Adoption Playshops. In those sessions, adopted children age five plus share lots with me and the adult adoptees who help me facilitate the sessions about their experiences. It is rare to find ANY child who has not had at least one and often many more than one racial encounter by the time he/she is seven. Most of the time adopted children do NOT tell their parents-- and it is only when a parent witnesses this that he/she knows its going on. The children report to teachers-- and their complaints are minimized or dismissed-- just as HATE crimes often are. Teachers and administrators in school districts where there are few people of color tend to do a poor job of responding.

We MUST, as parents raising children of color, start to question why it is-- after all of these years-- and all of the lip service we pay to treating people equally, valuing diversity, defending people who are discriminated again-- that we still live in a very racially segregated nation where racism continues to flourish. We can't afford to stay naive and not help our children understand and stand up against what is going on. Or think we are doing enough just because we love our kids and expect that others accept them.

Halloween Week 2008

Whew! I did it! Somehow. Jason missed Halloween AGAIN (poor guy) and I had to sort out this seemingly simple holiday alone.

The week started with the nursing home trip, which I loved and am eternally grateful to my children for behaving. Dylan was kind enough to forgo his Batman costume for the fireman costume, which was a huge sacrifice.

The Littles also had Halloween parties and arriving at school with the correct party items I signed up to bring always warms my heart. They also have a costume parade and sing Halloween songs as a group. Many younger kids fell apart and wouldn't participate so I was extremely proud of Lyvia. She hung in there the whole time even though she would have preferred to bail out and into my lap like some other kids.

At the big kids school they can dress as something out of a book. Jon didn't participate (not cool in 4th grade) and Lindsay took a non-fiction book about gymnastics and wore a gymnastics outfit.

We also had to carve our pumpkins this week, which is just too funny AND tough. I limited us to two pumpkins (instead of one each like the kids wanted.) At the time, that was because we were at the pumpkin patch and really I had my hands so full I wasn't sure how to get all the kids, friends, flowers, and pumpkins back to the car. Wisely, we didn't get our jack-o-lanterns made before Jason left for India (because of the Texas heat, carved pumpkins have a very short life.) So, I was in charge of fitting four kids, two pumpkins, lots of knives and lots of ideas into a tight schedule. With their good attitudes, we got it done. The funny thing is to watch them design the pumpkin faces. There were a couple of good ideas in there, but I am not capable of rendering their designs perfectly.

I finally started sharing with them that all we can really do is bring our ideas to the pumpkin and then the pumpkin will let us know what kind of face it really wants. By the way, no pumpkin at my house wants a heart shaped nose. Sorry Lindsay.

I would carve a bit and attempt to do something along the lines of their picture. Either my hang ups or dull knives meant a design change needed to be made so I let them know I was listening to the pumpkin and would do as it wished. They bought it.

The best part was the lighting of the pumpkins. They went kid crazy in the cool air and it probably looked like a Wicca meeting in my front yard as they spun, cartwheeled and flipped around. We also made our Boo bags and they ran around in the dark dropping them at doorsteps, ringing doorbells and running away since the giver is not supposed to be known.

A few days later it was Halloween night! I just don't know how to get four kids dressed and decorated close enough to the departure time to sit for photos and be ready to join the neighbors. I'm always worried that I'll have to listen to them beg to leave for an hour. Of course you also have to first feed them dinner and finishing stashing all the junk gathered by your front door so it looks clean enough to the people coming by later for candy.

Of course we couldn't find all of Lindsay's costume because I put it in some cleaver place so that it wouldn't get misplaced before Halloween. She was a good sport about improvising her rock star costume. I happened to have some colored hair spray (doesn't everyone?) and she loved her wild hair. Jonathan's costume was some creepy cloak with a chest plate that looked like ribs and was hooked up with tubes to blood. He could squeeze it and blood would move...I don't know...it was perfectly gross for a nine year old and he loved it. Dylan went back to his Batman costume that he wears non-stop throughout the year. It was Jonathan's costume years ago and is barely staying together. I will be eternally grateful that he didn't put up too much of a fight about wearing that fireman costume to the nursing home.

Lyvia was still a cute butterfly, but you won't get to see proof of any of these costumes because I missed Halloween pics. It was really dark and I was still fixing hair as we started to march down the street with the neighbors.

Jonathan and a gang of boys went off by themselves. Three hours later, when I drove around to find them, they couldn't even walk the block back to the house. Their legs and feet were completely worn out. Ah, finally they had to really work to bring in the mother lode of candy. And it was a mother lode. Fifteen and one half pounds of candy came back to my house. What a night.

Don't have a clue

The Littles keep getting in trouble for this and that mischief. Problem is, I really don't have a clue who is to blame. They have gotten into the horrid habit of immediately blaming each other for whatever trouble I have found.

Lindsay's money was missing last night and a chorus of "Dylan did it! Lyvi did it!" started before we even got the entire accusation out of our mouth. I still am not sure exactly which one should be charged for that crime.

This morning Lyvia proudly showed me her baby, which is covered in ink stamps. Moments after seeing my face she blamed Dylan and Dylan blamed Lindsay! Dylan just looks guilty with his little grin, but I think I won this one. I asked Lyvia, "Why did you put stamps on your baby?" She started in with her multi-use "cuz" statement, but rapidly (really, too rapidly for a two-year-old) caught on and switched to, "No, Dylan did it."

I'll take her momentary blunder as proof of her guilt, but goodness she is so good at being naughty.

Off to rescue the baby from living her life as a tattoo artist reject.

I think a lot of people wish they could do this right now.

Voting

Lindsay and Jonathan got to vote for the president at school today. Jon is hook, line and sinker for Obama, but Lindsay said she just couldn't decide and wanted to vote for both.

My finger kept going back and forth and I couldn't decide because

I wanted to vote for both of them.

So who did you finally vote for?

Well, McCain has four boys, three girls, four dogs and a cat.

How can you NOT vote for THAT!?!

Happy Election Day!

p.s. Dylan said he would vote for "RockObama."

Moments from My Day

I woke up and thanked the heavens above that Lyvia slept soundly through the night. At one point the little ice cube did crawl over to me and got under the covers, which is uncommon for her. She snuggled in tight and close. When she is still, this is yummy.

Dylan started his day by wanting to call his daddy. I explained that I needed to figure out what time it was to make sure daddy might actually be able to talk. I told him it might be night time since daddy is on the other side of the world. When I called, Jason was in a meeting so I asked him to call us back when he could. Dylan asked, "Did you hear any crickets?" Uh... "Why would I hear crickets," I asked. "To tell if it is night time or not!" Where in the world did he learn this?

My brother arrived from Japan the night before so Dylan, Lyvia and I picked him up at his hotel and took him to get his rental car. During lunch we learned that there might be a wedding in his future!

Next I picked up Oliver from the new groomers and paid more for his haircut than I do mine. Thank goodness they pretty much buzzed him off to the skin.

Then things turned into a bit of blur, but it included whiny kids who wouldn't give me a moment of peace and who messed up faster than I could pick up.

Jonathan and Lindsay came home from school and did a might fine job of practicing their instruments, telling me about their day and then quickly disappearing into the neighborhood.

Lyvia attempted to take a nap, but I quickly woke her up and visited the park with the Littles. Dinner was a compilation of everything they keep rejecting. It is too funny to watch them barter things around -- germs just don't exist in our house.

Lyvia got yanked out of the bathtub early since yet AGAIN she squeezed a bottle of shampoo into the tub. Honestly, she can't resist this and eating outside the kitchen.

At some point we all ended up on one twin bed. I was reading books to Lindsay and Dylan. Lyvia likes to hold her own book and do her own thing. Jonathan must have needed some family time since he was also there reading his own book. I finally realized that the noise next to me was Lyvia repeating everything I read. She kept doing it with a grin on her face. What a little trickster. I'm sure you had to be there, but we ended up laughing so hard that Dylan, Lindsay, Jonathan and I had tears streaming down our face.

The last book we read was Going On a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury. In this version, the family arrives in a cave and there is a bear! They then run all the way back home, upstairs and under the covers. It is such a cute little story and fun to swishy swishy and squelch squerch to and fro, but Dylan always wants me to skip from the cave to the family jumping under the covers together. It just cracks me up that this cute little tale scares the begeebers out of him.

Dylan always crashes at night, which is so welcome and endearing. Lindsay has to carry on 10 more conversations with me before she is settled. Lyvia is horrid about going to bed and now none of her siblings will sleep in the same room with her anymore (she won't stop talking.) With Jason out of town, I've just let her go get into my bed each night. Tonight, after Jonathan and I worked on some of his homework, he went to "bed". I just found him also in my bed so I guess I'll have to carve out a spot for myself.

Reach Out

I love, love, love visiting nursing homes with my children. Even my shiest kids break out and participate in handing out whatever goodie or decoration we bring. A Baylor alum group met at a nursing home near me to spread some Halloween cheer so we beelined over there, too.

There is a bit of a dance involved when I try to communicate with people in these homes. I don't know what kind of interaction they are interested in or how they are feeling. I don't want to presume that everyone thinks preschoolers toddling around are a thing of joy. Some people love the visitors, others don't seem interested and I'm sure some are delighted inside, but because of that aging process, you just can't tell from their faces or words that they are actually happy or receptive. This poor group got stuck with us (our singing wasn't fabulous) since they were all arriving and waiting for lunch. All you can do is show up and hope that you did make a difference in someones day. Also, don't think they didn't let me know how frustrating it was to have to come in every day and never know how long they will have to wait until their lunch is served! I'm sure it is maddening to loose all control.

The biggest surprise for me was this neat guy. He seems to carry around a packet of laminated photos and information about the ship he served on in World War II. Dylan stuck to him like glue and carried on quite a conversation as he was shown picture after picture. The gentleman even explained his jobs on the ship and where he worked on it. I wonder what feelings brought him to the point of needing to carry around this part of his history with him, however, I love that we were there for him to share those memories with us.

I'm Officially Jealous

Jason's hotel perched on a cliff

Jason's pics from Tirandrum, India

Camera Free

Completely out of character, but I took my kids to a picnic at a park after Jonathan's football game and did NOT get my camera out of the car. What was I thinking?

If I had my camera, I would have snapped a picture as they climbed the embankment that leads to I-35. They were close enough to the cars zooming by at 65 mph that my heart might have stopped a couple of times. They loved it.

I would have taken a picture of them as Jonathan waded in the water of the creek and scaled the infamous round rock. I would have stepped back a bit and snapped a shot of all of them dancing around the rocky "flats" that are smoothly carved by erosion. It is where my mom's family would come for picnic outings 50+ years ago.

It would have been great to capture Lindsay and Lyvia carefully wading over to the round rock. Lyvia wore her "baby soup" today because she just knew she would be swimming. That hadn't been in the plans, but she was joyfully vindicated and so proud of herself for sticking to her guns about what she considered appropriate football watching wear. Lindsay took such good care of her as they got closer and closer to their goal.

Dylan stayed on the shore to show me how fast the minnows "zagged" when he put his finger in the water. He couldn't wrap his mind around charging into the cold water and making his way to the rock. Instead, he found plenty to do perched on the edge of the rock as he dipped his squishy toddler hands into the water. What a sweet picture they would be.

It is heart warming to watch siblings help one another and that is just what Jonathan and Lindsay did when all three arrived at the rock. The made and executed a plan to help Lyvi scale the side. Lindsay leaned over the rock and grabbed Lyvi's hands. Jonathan gave her a boost from below. Hopefully they will always remember to help each other out. All three were smiling on top of "their" round rock -- that would have been a picture.

On the way back, they found more areas to explore. Even Dylan became brave enough to wade from rocky shelf to rock shelf.

I didn't have a camera today, but I think they'll still remember their mom taking them on this impromptu picnic at the park.

Breath

I think I need to take a breath. Or 2,000.

Jason has left and gone to India and I am on my own. This is generally not a problem, but...

Jon has projects galore to do at school.
Jon miscommunicates with the teacher so I have to sort things out. (No, she did not expect him to make 24 puppets for his book report.)
It is Halloween and I had to help four kids carve pumpkins.
It is Halloween and the kids still want to put up decorations even though it is Halloween day.
It is Halloween and every kid seems to have some THING to do for school, church, etc.
The hamster has died and the disposal crew has not arrived.
Jon is sad about the death of the hamster.
My house is undergoing renovations, but the contractor had to leave town for a week so things are just not right.
My house is undergoing renovations.
Lyvi keeps pee peeing her in pants.
Kids don't like to go to sleep when daddy is not home.
Jon has a football game and we are in charge of chains...whatever that means.
My brother gives me 3 days notice that he is arriving from Japan with his girlfriend.
My brother is arriving at 8 pm on a Sunday night so I cannot pick them up at the airport with four kids who need to be sleeping since school is the next day.
I am hosting Bunco at my house next week -- hope they like pizza.
I am volunteering for Coats for Kids when the preschoolers are in school.
There are also a few other things that I can't mention here, but Heavens!

HOWEVER

I will take a breath and keep going because...

I know my friend Paula will email after reading this and offer to help organize.

My friend Jeanne came by and helped move some furniture back into place.

Jon's teachers are so wonderful we just come up with solution after solution.

I am blessed that we could renovate our house to make it more usable.

It is Halloween and that is just good ol' fashioned fun!

My neighbor is not scared of dead things and helped verify the hamster was dying

and will come dispose of it soon.

My kids are fun to snuggle with at night in my bed.

Other football parents will handle the chains and not make me know what they are.

My dad is coming to help get my brother around.

My kids get to see their uncle Bryan.

My Bunco friends don't care what I serve and will even eat pizza.

With the littles in school, I can get away a bit and find time to do things I like.

I have friends who listen when I have those things going wrong

and always answer the right way.